I’ve never seen I<3Huckabees, and with good reason: I’ve never even been able to grasp the concept of existentialism, until a few days ago.  Maybe it’s like Kabbalah; you need to be married and over 40 to even start it. But alas, I still haven’t reached quarter life and I’m single tingle and ready to mingle. Christ, was that lame. Digression!

Existentialism, as I understand it - and as Wikipedia explains it - is the belief that we, human beings, draw meaning from personal values, decisions, and actions, as opposed to some higher power, force, or authority. “I think therefore I am,” besides being an reprehensible grammatic error, evokes power in the one who says it.

Fuck searching for yourself.

Create yourself.

The part that really resonated with me and my elbows was the concept of absurdity, in that life IS absurd. And so is death.  most of us live life thinking, irrationally, that tomorrow brings hope, all the while edging closer and closer to the certainty of death and the end. But we fail to see that plain truth, that we all die in the end, life is pretty much meaningless - till we create it ourselves - and we tend to lead a more secure, stable route, thinking again wrongly, that stability and safety will lead to prosperity and reward.

God. Where are we these days? But why? Why do we take Road A instead of G,H,I, or J? Because confronting that irrationality and going on a quest for deeper meaning is so imposing and burdensome, the body and mind undertake a self-sabotaging mission to thwart those chances for self-discovery.  That, at least for me, is what this whole id vs. ego tug is all about. Safety and stability versus adventure and risk.

But I’d take risk any day.