things I think about at 7:45 pm on a Tuesday. Some of which make me laugh.

• Tampons
• Bolivians who marry Peruvians and their Peru-Bolian Relatives
• Your old, bearded Grandma (Grandmon)
• The Homeless
• Phish Fans under 30
• Spelt and/or Bulgur
• Getting a boner while riding public transportation or in the doctor’s waiting room
• Boners, in general
• My enflamed coccyx
• Underground Railroad poetic jargon: Moses, Pharaoh, the Israelites
• Jewish or Jewish-looking rappers
• People who silently fart in enclosed spaces (see: boners)
• Cannabis inspired jewelry worn by hairless, sun blotched men at hippie drum circles
• Black and white infomercial footage // The phony actors unable to operate perfectly easy-to-use appliances– I can’t…Ahhh! This one button blender is just way too complicated! HELLLP! I need an alternative!
• Cluster bombs
• The pompous accent of the Toucan from Fruity Loops Cereal
• Who were waiting on to invent the electronic drum set for the Car
• Bad prehistoric drawings
• Stories about kids taking care of their dying parents
• the French
• Super Soakers, the numbered increment system used to differentiate sizes, and how unnecessarily advanced they became when I turned 14
• Various type of jellies
• The semen/seamen homonym
• The Mighty Ducks Trilogy
• Guys named Hank, Harry, Heath, Henry (anything with an H, really)