dreaming trees

it’s raining here, again. wait, it just stopped. i’m upstairs, in a house, with a shower…which is quite different from my previous living situation. it feels like i’ve been away for a year, and i’m talking about my weeklong stay at chava v’adam (which made it on tv tonight) but also about my stay here in the promised land. me on a tree

i could delve into the math, but since i suck at it, (and you’d find it boring) i won’t. but 6 weeks with a capital six, and that american raft floating downstream is fading ever moreso with every new hebrew word i learn and subsequently mispronounce, corruption scandal that breaks the news, and the kind gentle israeli that i meet ( they exist, you just have to look for them. and most of them are only pricks for the first 24 hours)

what isnt helping the big ole US of A’s case? i’ve started to see myself more as a representative of my homecountry, putting globalization, logic and liberalism aside, and growing vexed at what our country does and what my miniscule amount of taxes go towards. 130 billion in army and equipment aid to wars that the government still attempts to justify? And 30,000 troops awaiting to land in hell in baghdad? i don’t look forward to reading the news anymore. glutted with conflicts, wars, and formal budget requests to fund more. have you ever seen those statistics about the iraq war? they break down cost and compare it with “what we could have bought.” the details aren’t important, but the message is…maybe i’m being naive, blind to this picture that so many are leading their life by, but i believe we can, perhaps in small groups, live in communities without excessive politics, suffering, leading a just life based on responsibility, friendship, and living small.

i’ve spent time with a random bunch of people: american hippies who choose to live outside in 32 degree weather and grow their own food, alongside a group of israelites, some who have never entered a hotel, some who go on 15 mile desert hikes for fun, and some who build houses from mud and have no interest in serving in the israeli army. 9 out of 10 of them believe the world is in jeopardy, with greenhosue gases or nukes hitting first, and 2 of them sincerely believe that the world will end in 2012. say thanks to the mayans for that one!

zentime abroad, living alone on a farm, playing with goats, climbing trees – it gets to you. the question of what kind of life i want to live, and how to live it plagues me these days. {what else is one to think about sitting in a pine tree in the judean desert 30 ft above the ground?} inner peace, inner peace i’m beginning to understand as shutting down those emphatic angels and demons from the circles of fear, $$$, and safe ‘n sound stability and sincerely paying heed to what really compels you. to seek risk, life, chance no matter how crazy it is.

when it doesn’t make sense, then it starts to make sense.


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I'm fascinated with people, their stories, where they're coming from and where they're headed. Met many, and now it's time to write my own. follow the footprint.

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