no seriously…writing would be a great career move

You guys can at least comment on the piece I wrote.

Bastards. give me a thumbs up, or four thumbs down. whichever. but more is to come. and I update the my bio. its on the other page. read it. comment.

or don’t.

and in others news, i am completely in love with lesley feist. not in the creepy, awkward teenage stalker kind of way (i’m way past that) but just mesmerized by her music. go watch intuition on you tube. if it doesn’t make you contemplate crying then sorry to break the news to you, but you’re most likely an android and don’t have tear duct technology. sucks.

short story – 1

Most of her assistants arrive at nine thirty, but she prefers to get in early, at least an hour or so before the chaos of the fax machine and the switchboard operator sets in at the office. It gives her time to think, brew her second pot of coffee, review her appointments and schedule. It was to be a busy day. She drops her purse on the couch, and sits at her desk, staring at the notes she had written the previous day, the words passing before heavy eyes that did much of nothing.

Kitty Breddock feels as if she hadn’t had a solid hour’s worth of sleep the night before, her eyelids beg to close under the halogen lights. It’d been years since she had any trouble sleeping, since she’d fully mastered the visualization techniques she learned with her psychotherapist. The meditations aided to lay images of the fire finally to rest. For months they infiltrated her skull anytime she closed her eyes black, the blackness turning to red and gray, the colors melting and turning into one another, distorting into hell. It’s how she imagined the fall. They sporadically enter, usually on the anniversary when patriotism saturates the air, the television (which she learned to never watch on those days), and the radio. Even those, she managed to stave off though, with alcohol helping to abate feeling. A remedy that was essentially guaranteed.

She wanted to think of her son, wished it was him, yet he didn’t make an appearance. Work was also out of the picture, and instead she saw herself walking through her wardrobe closet, scanning her options for what to wear the next day for dinner. Over and over, she perused the selection, and even till morning, she hadn’t made a decision for the occasion. It was her co-workers’ suggestion to try and meet potential matches from online sources, and after some cajoling she finally relented and agreed to go for cocktails with an accountant named Greg who ironically works in her same building. They had never met before, simply because she was married before. They had made to go to Daddy’s on Dwight, close enough so that she could leave early with a taxi if she wanted yet far enough from work to ensure a slight moment of privacy. That’s what she thought, and what made her agree to go out with the first man since the other had slipped away.

believe what the fortune cookie says!

are we staggering or running? it’s not post culture shock anymore. i’m running out of scapegoats for my predicaments. theyre lurking around here somewhere.

been back nearly 3 months and i’m still job hunting. i have made progress though. met up with MTV a few weeks back for a design/management position. ‘we all love you but we can’t expand right now’. i have my second of three interviews for a hi end design firm in LA. so that’s a good thing. an even better thing is that my brothers and I are doing business together…starting a social networking site in a specific niche market. for the three of you that read this, you know what it’s about. the others: it’s top secret and i will kill you.

BUT what takes the danish is hands down was my interview with a ‘team coordinator’ for acn wireless…a ponzi pyramid scheme where new recruits are encouraged to sell wireless services and basically recruit more of their friends to enroll – at $499 each. it was complete bullshit. but he had great tricks up his sleeve…a promotional video featuring donald trump, legal protection, failing to mention the start-up fee, promising a rich lavish lifestyle. when press though, he did elicit a few honest, shocking answers…the fact that after a year he has only 60 customers for service, but 320 lowest level recruits. ACN. total fucking scam. afterwards i talked to the barista at coffee bean. jack hails from Missouri, lived in rural country with 1 mile between each house. now that i think about it, that really sucks if you’re a kid without a bike.

having terrible, terrible luck with the opposite sex lately. nothing really more to add, but that, yeah, i’m not really in uh, relationship get-to-know-you at the moment. i saw an old friend at big 5 the other day. he was buying black shoes for the holiday, asking me about my woman situation. funny thing about us jews. i guess i’m at that stage when the topic of marriage is making a more frequent appearance. that dick. anyways. it’s weird.

it’s like annoying as all hell conversation when you meet someone from your university or home town; the blabber rants on incessantly, spewing out a 6 inch thick catalog of names who either don’t recognize or want to forget. “oh do you know this guy, he lived on your street, played a lot of basketball…steve something? No? he’s a really funny guy. alcoholic too. what about…”

yeah what about NO.

anyways…this guy asks me my age (24) then somehow jumps to ‘yeah you know, when you’re 30 though, your options and choices are more limited. all the 22, 23 year olds are taken. then you start asking, well, she’s 27…why is she still single? you gotta ask yourself that.’ so now i’m 30, still single, jobless, and probably going to end up with someone who is likely unattractive and so ill tempered no one wants to be with her.

this guy is my new best friend.cookie

last friday night we went out for chinese food. it was terrible, but the fortune cookie i got was great. it went something along the lines of ‘you’re only just starting on the path to many great things.’ it was something like that, but more, what, chinese-ee? fortune cookie-ish speak? okay. i’m a racist. but screw you. it was my cookie!

with the fortune of an overprocessed malodextrine, cardboard like pastry, i wake up anew! job interview is on monday.

p.s. i emailed the dude from ACN…i’ll update tomorrow with his response…if he writes back…please, please write back. this could get very, very fun.

midnight monday manifesto

in no specific order:

  1. blog. swim. practice t’ai chi. stop looking at computer screens.
  2. expand garden. grow food.
  3. research whether it’s economically sound to buy a hybrid car at this juncture.
  4. finish Ishmael. buy more books.
  5. find, meet,propose, and marry norah jones. change name to Mr. Jones and holla at the counting crows guy, see if he wants to go get a drink in 1997.

See now, things have a way of working themselves out, if you just let them. My brain is fried full of ajax, API, php, perl and rubies on rails (thanks bluewaters) and has Rolodexed every social networking, web 2.0, video sharing site. Ha Rolodex. Remember those old Casio watches that had calculators on them? I saw this 17 year old kid wearing one and gave high fives, with both hands. Way to show your roots. Being a nerd is something to aspire to. You never know who you’re gonna learn from.

Speaking of 2.0 – Some cool links from my research dayz you may or may not want to check out. Of course, I really don’t give a shit either way, I’m just promoting them because they’re either funny, weird, or have hot chicks on the homepage.

http://funnyordie.com/videos/74

http://vimeo.com/

threadless.com

craftster.org

More random stuff? Bonnaroo rocked. Lesley feist kicked ass. Here’s a vid from the show I was at.

More randomness soon. Enjoy the poem.song below. I really, really don’t understand that whole opposite sex thing. Celibacy. Seriously. the only way. Someone put that on a t-shirt.

sleight of heart

never held out much for chivalry
not that i lack skills in romance but you didn’t awaken it in me
there she goes now, speeding things up
like a reckless train leaving us out in the rain
and i’m ticket less  growing sick of this
growing sick and tired of not knowing you 
 
but you’re older/ and that tends to impress me
whatever’s lacking in your department i’ll seek in your apartment 
you’ve got nothing that i can’t find
yeah you’ve got nothing that i can’t find
 
 heard it on the news they said that dreams just can’t be real
pulling rabbits out of your hat like david copperfield
learn together, seduction tricks
how to stay apart with sleight of heart
ah ha, ah ha.