11:16 – the laundry post

the cartilage peeling wheels careening I’m dissolving into symptomatic panic the pleasure in my face senses automatic aromatic bamboo splitting underneath my nails. transmitting the spells I run on adrenaline cells, fueling this vessel of organic matter the latter it’s coming to my understanding that life is but a funnel we all traverse, what are we but a different colored Alice born to slip through our own wonderland. we’re looking for someone, something, the glue that makes it all make sense. you’ll find it in fresh cut leather, ripe avocado, the space between the buttons on your blackberry, the sulphuric pools by the dead sea, fruit from thailand. it’s there. just breathe.

this is where i came undone, and re-done, the threadcount in my head coming together, no longer splitting, no longer unwitting, the synapses wringing together, fresh hanging laundry, i know this is a crappy metaphor but just go with it, visualize it in your head, and you’ll see it, the peaceful piece of clothing strung up between 14th century apartment buildings in napoli, the ones in postcards. if we could all be like that, hanging, being pressed, getting worn, then getting washed, getting worn, getting a stain on our right breast, being worn by a grandfather, then son, then son of the son. it moves in cycles: red, spiraling cycles. sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes you get a power bar. and then of course, sometimes the bar eats you.

Advertisements

Apple Introduces Dennis Monk-world’s Smallest Mac User

Photobucket San Francisco audiences at the MacExpo were wowed yesterday by Steve Jobs’ latest unveiling, Dennis Monk, the world’s smallest, thinnest, tiniest Apple user.

“I got the sense that people weren’t as thrilled as we were with the Macbook Air, so I spoke with John Ive (Apple’s Chief Designer) and he told me about a Black Project even I didn’t know was going on.” Indeed, the Macworld community left out a depressed sigh at the sight of the Macbook Air, hailed by the computer company as the ‘World’s Thinnest Notebook.” When Jobs noticed that they weren’t impressed, he was up to the new challenge.

“And there’s one more thing,” uttered Jobs on Tuesday during a press conference at apple headquarters. “I want to introduce Dennis Monk, the world’s smallest Apple user in history.” Jobs then opened up his palm, and held up Monk between his right thumb and forefinger, quickly setting him down on the podium to prevent heavy pangs of nausea. At just 2 inches tall, and weighing 4 oz. Monk has already gained attention and generated considerable buzz in the Mac community.

Monk, who is 33 years and originally from Richmond, Virginia, has been a Mac user since age seven. He studied electrical engineering on scholarship at Cal-Tech, and now works as a Flash developer for Apple in San Francisco. An avid tadpole lover, he is committed to animal and forest conservation, but celebrated for his highly aggressive attitude, especially when defending his employer.

“Hello children. I’m all over these haters who say Apple has lost its edge. Have you even seen the Macbook Air? The iPhone? Steve is one bad, badass motherfucker,” he told journalists at the Apple press conference. “We’re years ahead of anything you pieces of crap can throw at us. And Google? Google can suck my left-”

Placing Monk in his breast pocket with a kernel of candy corn, Jobs told reporters, “Monk is the next revolution in the Apple experience. If we’re creating small phones and hardware, the next logical step is to create the small Mac user. Some people think it’s better to work backwards, but we’re all about working forwards and sometimes sideways if needed.”

Inside sources at Apple say that Monk provided the inspiration for Apple’s latest venture into miniaturizing their products, such as the iPod touch, the Shuffle, and MacBook Air.

“You bastards think this is it, right? You know that bag with the touch and the shuf? It’s twenty feet deep,” said Monk, sitting on Jobs’ collar, the iMic in hand, his voice teeny yet somehow booming. “2008 is going to be the year of the mini. We’re coming out with a iDog, iSecurity, and iSuck, the world’s smallest vacuum cleaner. Ya’ll better watch the fuck out!”

Jobs would not confirm any statements put forth by Monk to the press.

android handset is alive

Lately I’ve been following the Google Android. It’s a Linux based operating system that Google acquired months ago, and coupled with their plans to purchase wireless bandwidth (even air is for sale!) is a huge indication of their plans to enter the mobile market. Why do I care about Android? It’s an open-sourced platform, so it gives free reign for coders and app developers to write applications.  Mark my words…We’ll all be using Google phones by 2009..

Today A La Mobile has developed the first handset and integrated it with Android. You can read  the article here.

And if you want to spend a few minutes watching a rich as hell geeky Russian Jewish guy explain the product, watch the Android video!

clinton scrambles

I’ve got Election Fever these days. I also have a body fever. Some type of flu/virus that hits me every year. It’s a fever, accompanied by the guests of honor: runny nose, dizziness, and nausea. Usually I get it for 3 days – I stay bedridden, and if I do get up for some soup, I get that weird body and head rush you get when you’ve been in a jacuzzi too long and need to get out because it’s cold and you want some pizza.

Isn’t eating and drinking while inside a body of water just so awesome?

Anyways. Check out this article here: Clinton Braces for Second Loss.

On the eve of the the New Hampshire primary, it looks like the Woman in the Pantsuit is doomed.

Sorry Wink. How’s life on the trail?