christ it’s 1:18 already? been up writing, working on the ad school app, flirting with creative directors and such; my mom has a migraine. and a sinus infection. the brothers and I have offered to get her green many a time, but she’s persistently resistant. so i drew a bath and pressed her eyebrows to relieve the pressure. She says it’s working. I say more drugs. Pharma or medicinal.
God, decisions decisions. I feel my creative juices to be running lower than ever have before. Which is strange, because I haven’t been writing this consistently, or working on being creative as much as I have in recent weeks. What do I need? to explore, travel, see more. I’m feeling India. It’s feeling me. it calls me, while I’m sleeping. naked. under the covers. wearing nothing but my leg hair.
I’m really excited for the food.
I am in somewhat of a crux though…If work doesn’t pan out, I’m doing these applications then getting the hell out of this country for a while. Till school starts. Hopefully. And if that doesn’t work out as I’ve planned, then, so be it. I’m tired of all this planning.
On the lady front…Things are good, complicated complicated complicated. I wish I had experience in this whole relationship thing..Or at least more practice. I question whether I’m doing things right. Where the fuck is the manual? Nowhere. If you could win a rabbit, rabbit or habit, rabbit or whales. it’s funny. i’ve made my fair share of mistakes in past relationships. Did I learn from them? Am I doomed to repeat them like a bad re-run of Who’s The Boss? Me: filled with hope that my intentions are coming through loud and clear on the relationship radar. that and a fair understanding that I’m not perfect, I need a fair amount of training and being told what to do (which, let’s face it, is hard for a semi-control freak like myself), and patience, patience, patience. I don’t get things right the first time, but try to repeat my mistakes. before they’re too late.
confused. I need the forest. and space cookies.