first days with the gays.

I’m here I’m here.  Even Google maps knows it. Damn you Google. Damn you and your library of information.

life in samsonite map

My room has been laid out with permaculture strategy. I’ll follow up with pictures or send a link on FB. I’ve got a bed -on a real frame! – that I put together with the help of my Burner roommate: a bearded fellow who eats black beans regularly; a study/desk/working nook that sits behind my closet; three huge paneled windows that I somehow forgot to close before retiring for the evening last night (fortunately I awoke at 9:20 without a frostbitten nose); there’s also a misanthropic cat named Baxter who likes to pee on used cardboard boxes I keep in the hallway.  For the first 24 hours I was taking it personally but then I understood that he doesn’t just hate me, he hates EVERYBODY.

I was expecting to be plunged in a wicked state of euphoria during my initial days in the Bay Area, as per usual samsonite adventures, but I feel so comfortable in San Francisco, it’s almost as if I was always here, and that Los Angeles was the vacation.  the people, the beer, the clothing, the neighborhoods, the mass transit – urban living just for the eskimos.

STORY: Last night I met up with Eric Hanson, former Santa Barbara roommate, devout atheist and student of theology just across the Bay. I paid my fare, and we were off towards the Castro for some Gay festivities, when twenty minutes in we were halted by an SFPD officer, flailing her hands and whistling. Right. Left. anywhere but forwards! we spied up ahead and saw bikes, lots and lots of bikes 2 blocks away, driving perpendicularly from our position. The bus driver (whom I recognized from my previous trip. nice guy. gives directions.) cursed and pointed at our electric cables. we were stuck, and things were just getting interesting. metal spokes, wheels, helmets started coming towards us, first in pairs, then squads, regiments, an all out biking assault approaching critical mass. i got off and found Eric. We walked and talked, and made up the last row of a gay/sexy tranny parade.

smile for the cameras. you’re gonna be famous one day.

p.s. thx for the late night chats benari…


the big throw away

why do we hold on to so much useless, old crap? fuck the memories. you can have everything

journals from 8th grade, high school letters, italy journal, 2 cell phones, 3 chargers, 5 yarmulkes, philosophy books, my mom’s decomposing hebrew dictionary (pages missing), pennies, 5 Egyptian pounds, broken cds: van halen, metallica (the black album) silverchair’s frogstomp, crappy flamenco music -bootlegged from spain – sketches of my gay roommate pascal birras from bologna, faded concert tickets from high school – i kept the good ones – a plp conference booklet, mardi gras beads -i’ve never been to new orleans – bank statements, around 7 dead pens, 1 broken sketching charcoal, an eraser, a half full deck of cards, 1 broken stapler, others.

and the treasure! an Apple remote that ctrls volume and itunes playlist, Edahn’s 24 hour fitness card – which would have been handy today – a card daphne rozenblatt made for me years back – in cursive script, with draping y’s ang g’s, making it completely illegible, or would take serious eye effort.

and seeing the bottom of my drawers. i’m so ready for this. it’s 104 degrees here.

The Playa Haighter makes for an expedition

San Francisco is that cool, reserved, intelligent girl who’s sipping Matte hiding brains behind a triple layer of scarves. I’m falling in love…urban eskimo street

I found an apartment in the Upper Haight. Check out my street! Classic Victorian with two Burners – he makes curry, she does HIV research, and they help construct the Temple that eventually crumbles and joins the Playa Dust. It’s gonna be an interesting year. Very educational. Plus they were at LIB!

Weekend was solid. Hung out with J, M, T, Smokey, Mert. Thanks to all and the hospitality. Can’t wait to return in kind! Will need to stock up on cereal though. Things are moving fast. School, work, tuition, projects. I want to go to sleep now and ‘hit the gym’ tomorrow. No hitting will be involved and no equipment will be harmed.

Stay healthy. Stay open.

the trip!

This weekend was full of realizations. Spent at a massive circus fair/ green fest in Santa Barbara…I don’t have any sort of system for outlining these, but here they are. Hope they make some sense! And I’m 25! Eek!  Also found a flat in the upper Haight/Ashbury area of SF! Things are moving faaaast. If anyone has any ideas (legal or not) about getting 16K to pay for school, let’s hear ’em. long live the animals! long live the panda bear!

Lessons learned from Lion Sweet Dinosaur

1. Life is intense, complicated, intricate. Yet I’ve come to a simple conclusion about this quest of fulfillment, and finding the inner self: your heart is telling you something, and it’s your mission to listen to it. Each of us possesses creative drive – the desire to make and invent things, not only in the physical sense, but we want to reinvent our environment and ourselves. I believe that deep down, the inner child in us is still talking, but we make efforts to quash its voice. Connect with it, because its still important. It was your first voice, the first time you were able to communicate ‘This is Who I Am’. For some, it’s gardening, acting, repairing cars, collecting watches. Creative actions are powerful therapies that bring us full circle, and make us feel spiritually whole. Whoever you are, BE IT. Be the person you are. Dress the part, play the part, speak the part, live the part. Be open to receptive to everything, but start with yourself.

2. True friendship and partnership is accomplished when both sides have each reached that level of ‘creative comfort.’ It’s a zone where self-expression is encouraged, judgment and criticism is nonexistent, and true beauty is shared. What I mean to say is, you’ve reached a new level of inter-action when you’re carpooling and your passenger bursts into song. It’s even better if it’s Gin and Juice by Dr. Dre. Cherish it. That person trusts you! They have accepted that you’ve accepted and will accept them unconditionally. And of course, we’re forced to ponder about the relationships that haven’t reached that space yet. Will it happen?

3. In order to fully understand something, you need to experience it yourself. Flickr, youtube, blogs, news – cheap substitutes for the Real McCoy. If I said the Italian cafe culture is great, you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about. Go out. Life is short. Experience cultures, meet new people from all walks, learn, learn, learn. To do so otherwise, to experience vicariously…You’re cheating

4. LOVE YOURSELF. Why not? Just fall in love with yourself. There’s no excuse. Even counting your flaws, you’re amazing. You’re great. You are an awesome individual. Start by loving yourself, and you’ll find it easier to love others as well. And on others…We’re all just the same creatures, existing in this world, trying to survive. We have the option to make our lives an enjoyable experience. Let’s start by self-assessment and see that by loving ourselves, fully and unconditionally, we take a step in a direction that is only positive.

5. Giving is the ultimate form of receiving. To give is it to get. Kindness is the language of reciprocity, the code to unlocking and creating strong interpersonal relationships.

Sometimes, after long, complicated days, or on days where I’m feeling lonely and that I feel I’ve been dealt the shitty card, I’ll write 10 things I’m thankful for for that day. Usually they’re positive, happy experiences! It totally works, and feels great afterwards. Another idea I suggested to my brother is writing out 5 acts of kindness you perform each day. You’ll be able to catalog and observe how you’re doing.  In the end, what really gives us satisfaction, but kindness to others?

6. Progress doesn’t happen alone. The lone entrepreneur, whether social or business, will find it difficult to succeed. Goals are realized when we work in teams. It’s faster, smarter, and we learn from one another. Be open to feedback, and don’t take critique personally. Separate yourself.

7.  Humans. We’re all the same. We are all musical notes, floating along a sheet of music. Some of us moving forward, some ringing, some resting. Staying healthy and sound is the key to progress, moving along with the flow of the orchestra that is simply LIFE.  The path to progress, and success in all forms, is achieved through kindness.  It’s a new paradigm of understanding relationships. We’re all in this together.

8. Selfishness is my impediment. Not giving is the enemy. Friendship is a beautiful concept.  It’s interdependence. Our mission is to seek.

9. I need to get back into improv. Join a group. Playing is SO much fun and doesn’t happen enough. Never forget the Earth children at LIB, singing and playing like we were 7. It’s what’s missing! Go crazy.  Without  the drugs. 🙂

10. You can find your subculture anywhere. It’s a matter of being open. To new ppl. New experiences. Newness. Music. Lands. Foods. everything. change is eternal. see it and that grow with it. If you’re not growing, you’re dying.