okay so let’s just get started.
I watched high fidelity tonight. And it provided some answers, clues I want to share with you, with whomever, with people my age struggling, digger further and deeper into ourselves, no matter what the consequences or where it may lead. I’m only recently beginning to understand that life is about giving and seizing opportunity, and that life demands us to live ambitiously and efficiently, in harmony with others. Those thoughts accumulated at a music festival, and if you haven’t attended one, well, shit, there’s nothing else quite like it. We’re all due for a cleansing. But if you have gone, and want to read about my experiences, then click here.
Where were we? Oh. High Fidelity. Sick. Cusack, soaking in the rain after seeing his ex-girlfriend: “If I don’t commit to something, to anything, then that’s death in tiny, tiny increments.”
I was always thought I was ADD. Moving around, thinking thinking ticking ticking faster than a firefly – the kind from the Disney movies – when I haven’t fully discovered what the symptoms are, or how I contracted it, or why, but I can give you a sense of what being me is, and I think what a lot of people go through. Hope this helps.
Newness is my drug of choice, better than anything I’ve smoked – And I’m including the Bay Area – it’s that high you get when you step out of the airport in Istanbul or Lod or Sydney or Vienna and smell the air and your nose, your nose knows. It rushes up to strike you in the face, the head, and suddenly your whole body and life, in just a plane flight, a fucking 8 hours, and you’re completely reborn. You get to be someone else, and the past, the past practically never existed. And the best part? You can keep doing that, over and over. And then it starts to just suck. It sucks the life out of me, and I’m tired. I’m left roaming from place to place, fleeing before responsibilities, decisions, friendships, community, and relationships.
So shit. It’s time. To start working and stop worrying. Because that pain won’t lead anything but negativity, nothing positive. I will start committing, I will devote myself to finishing projects, and seeing where things lead. Because if it’s fun, stimulating then fuck, let’s just keep going with it, because passion takes us places. And that’s all it is. Living passionately, with ferocity, with a capturing balance of aggressiveness, kindness, and assertiveness, we live in a stream of fulfillers, a positive and healthy stream of challenge and change, problems and solutions, sharing and enjoying in the depths of experience that is so hard to come by. for me. for you. for us. Harness the newness, control and experiment with what’s in front of you.
I move now with diligence and tactic, listening to that what drives heart and mind, using both with strategy and intent, to find what drives me. then I move on it with swiftness and progress, letting the wave of passion hover me and be seen on the outside. and that how’s we get out of the circle of sameness and safety, and we get into the game. We either join up or start our own team.
We are here to stay, and we are ready to move.