things I think about at 7:45 pm on a Tuesday. Some of which make me laugh.

  • Tampons
  • Bolivians who marry Peruvians and their Peru-Bolian Relatives
  • Your old, bearded Grandma (Grandmon)
  • The Homeless
  • Phish Fans under 30
  • Spelt and/or Bulgur
  • Getting a boner while riding public transportation or in the doctor’s waiting room
  • Boners, in general
  • My enflamed coccyx
  • Underground Railroad poetic jargon: Moses, Pharaoh, the Israelites
  • Jewish or Jewish-looking rappers
  • People who silently fart in enclosed spaces (see: boners)
  • Cannabis inspired jewelry worn by hairless, sun blotched men at hippie drum circles
  • Black and white infomercial footage // The phony actors unable to operate perfectly easy-to-use appliances– I can’t…Ahhh! This one button blender is just way too complicated! HELLLP! I need an alternative!
  • Cluster bombs
  • The pompous accent of the Toucan from Fruity Loops Cereal
  • Who were waiting on to invent the electronic drum set for the Car
  • Bad prehistoric drawings
  • Stories about kids taking care of their dying parents
  • the French
  • Super Soakers, the numbered increment system used to differentiate sizes, and how unnecessarily advanced they became when I turned 14
  • Various type of jellies
  • The semen/seamen homonym
  • The Mighty Ducks Trilogy
  • Guys named Hank, Harry, Heath, Henry (anything with an H, really)
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